Friday, May 22, 2015

Confessions of a Potty Mouth

I am a potty mouth.

My mother was not a potty mouth,  my father was not a potty mouth,  my siblings are not potty mouths, my husband is not a potty mouth and most of my friends are not potty mouths.  I was not a potty mouth in college.  I was not a potty mouth through two marriages.   I do not think I know anyone I would call a potty mouth.

I am the potty mouth. 

I am not sure when it happened.  I think it happened when the business I worked for got sued, but I am not sure.

I  cannot bear foul language used around children or elders.  I don't like it used in business or public settings and I sure do not want someone using foul language when they are dealing with me about something.  I do not like it in movies or internet postings.  I think it is a sign of ignorance, poor education and/or lack of respect.

I do not swear in public or around my grandchildren.  I did drop an F bomb at Thanksgiving dinner one year.  (I will never live that down) (and I blame too much wine)   All in all I try to be careful.

That said, I am still a potty mouth

 I can scarcely believe how I talk.  It sometimes frightens me.  I am not talking about an occasional damn, hell or sh-t.  I am talking about the worst of the worst.  I sometimes amaze myself. 

I  swear at "things" alot.  Mostly inanimate things.  Appliances that do not work are privy to my colorful outbursts.  Also television.  I can curse an entire show or just a few members of it.  News is particularly conducive to my potty mouth.  Things I cannot figure out or comprehend ( and there are lots of those) are subject to my potty mouthedness.

I swear when I am driving.   Not other people that are driving, just at driving in general.

I swear at my dogs.   I swear at myself.

I do not have to be angry to swear.  I do not have to be in a bad mood, upset or hurt to swear.

I wish I wasn't a potty mouth.   I wish I could go back to the years that I can remember I was not a potty mouth. 

I am a potty mouth.

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